Mum thoughts

I took my kids to have some photo's taken today and although the photographer assured me that my kids were certainly not the worst behaved of the day - I can't help but wonder if that was part of her $1000.00 package salespitch. Honestly, they were shocking. Trying to get them to sit still and get a smile that didn't look like a grimace was like urban warfare.

They wrestled all over the place, chased each other, tried to climb and then jump from chairs, nearly tore down the backdrop and kind of reminded me of chimpanzees in a zoo. If only they threw poo at each other and swung through the place by their tails the picture would have been complete. At times, I looooooooathe taking them in public.

Eating out - once a joy that has become a battle of wills - they will run off and I will cajole, bribe, threaten to try to get them to behave. I might as well try to train an octopus to tapdance. Ridiculous.

A few hours later I changed my youngest's nappy and failed to return the nappy cream to the high shelf. 5 minutes later the oldest comes to me complaining that he has been covered in cream. The cream is also on the couch, on the wall, on the hallway floor, in the carpet and all over child #2. Completly my fault. I didn't put the cream back - but ... why why why finger paint the house? What is the appeal? It was so hard to keep a straight face when he looked at my with a snowy white face and gummed up eyelashes to say "uh-oh".  

I don't want to be the fun police and at times I'm sure they see me as exactly that - the cranky old bird that expects too much cooperation from short folk of very limited attention span that just wanna have fun... but sometimes Mum's just wanna have fun too.

I asked my oldest after the photography incident if he knew why I was angry with him and he guessed "Cos you're always angry?" Is this really how he sees me? This comment has stopped me in my tracks. Can this really be the way he sees his Mum? It has my doubting myself and questioning how I see my relationship with my kids - they often say that truth comes from the mouths of babes... Is my truth that I'm so caught up in how things should be that I'm failing to enjoy what is?